Anaconda (2025)
★ ★ ½
Anaconda is not a remake of the 1997 film with the same name, and it bears little resemblance to the original jungle adventure—except that both films have a man-eating, quasi-realistic CGI snake. The 1997 snake was so obviously computer generated that its absurdity became part of the fun that crappy sci-fi cult classics are known for. This film is a story about four adults who’ve been friends since they were making VHS short films in high school.
Doug McCallister (Jack Black) directed those high school films that starred his best friend Ronald Griffin Jr. (Paul Rudd) and Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton). Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn) was their cinematographer…or camcorder operator.
Jack Black as Doug, Thandiwe Newton as Claire and Paul Rudd as Ronald
© 2025 Columbia Pictures
Doug has been working for a high-end wedding videography company. He pitches to brides and grooms cinematic shots, complete with storyboards. One in particular is a horror theme. He wants to make real films and the couple just want a polished record of their event.
Ronald is a struggling actor whose closest brush with stardom was as a supporting character on the television show S.W.A.T. Claire is recently divorced and looking for her next adventure. Kenny is dimwitted, a touch unhinged, a tad loony and might be the best part of this film.
Paul Rudd as Ronald Griffin Jr.
© 2025 Columbia Pictures
Ronald plays one of the films from their high school glory days at Doug’s birthday party, sparking a little more than nostalgia with the group. When he tells them he’s secured the rights to the original Anaconda novel, the nostalgia turns into a desire to give filmmaking a real shot. So they head off to Brazil to make their film with the idea of adding in a CGI snake in post-production, unaware that a real man-eating anaconda awaits them.
I relate to these four more than I’d like to admit, having been that guy in school who tried to make VHS films. And I remember fondly those who helped me in my overly ambitious attempts at making movies. I wish the film kept its focus on that.
As a vehicle for Black, the story takes nonsensical turns with plot points geared for his overacted comedic timing. Black is at his best when the script is tight and his comedy is reined in. Unchecked, he lacks restraint. Some jokes land, but the comedy feels forced.
Jack Black as Doug and Paul Rudd as Ronald
© 2025 Columbia Pictures
We go from touching trips down memory lane to potty humor on a turn, a mix that might work well if the screenplay managed to thread the needle more. Watching this film is more ‘what just happened?’ than ‘what’s going to happen next?’ The script is a mess, and the plot got lost in the jungle, never to be seen again. Perhaps the ginormous snake gulped it down.
There are fun moments and decent laughs—none of which are enough to glue the plot back together. On their own, they’re only enjoyable as they happen on screen, choosing to stand alone as opposed to serving the story.
Despite its flaws, I found enough to enjoy in the film, if only because it reminded me of my youthful ambitions, unrealistic as they may have been. If they had leaned more into the nostalgic comedy, and less into the zany jokes that come out of nowhere, this would have been a memorable film. Maybe I should give some of my friends a call for that kung-fu extravaganza script that’s been collecting dust.
